It was Me. With The Rose I Gave You.

Identity Memoirs Exits Letters

Swallow me and spit me out
for hating you I'l shout out loud
seeing you it kills me now
no I don't cry on the outside somehow

Cold ~~Starry~~ night.

Yep. Thats me.
Hello. My name is Nur Idayu Bte Abdul Rahman. 14 goin' 15.
30th DEC 1994
Capricorn
Singapore
quake4_cloud@hotmail.com(MSN&FRIENDSTER). Music and Art is her life.
A Rapper,Dancer,B-Girl,Composer,Lyricist,Pianist.Guitarist.
A Little bit of tomboy but still have my girl me. Dont really give a damn about haters,backstabbers and etc(s).
Don't mess with my loved ones or you'll be messin' with me.
Sounds like im tryin' to be a big shot but NO.
Those who are close with me..Knows me very well in terms of fighting..
Loves :
Family = Mama,Daddy,Sister,Brother,Myself,Kor. Bestfriend = Aisyah. Him&Him = ED. Myself. =P
EDWARD CULLEN IS MINE. HEHE XD

I love goth & emo too. Dont ask me why.. Its my Vampire Bloodline. heh. ;D

Where I Spill Every Single Feeling I Had...

Yes. Im an EMO.
Happy? I can't stand whats happening around here.
I'm glad I could still bring smiles at those faces that
I longed been loving em.
One thing I felt. One thing I saw. The only one thing I've heard.
Im not being appreciated. Im not being known after all the hard work.
No one loves my presence. Except a few. Thats if its true.
Its really making me falling out from everything im doing right now.

What power has love but forgiveness.
In other words by its intervention.
What has been done can be undone.
What good is it otherwise..?

Sigh. Im starting it again. I'm rapping out to let people know my pain.
tomorrows test. im not having any rest.
cause tonight will be the night.. im going out.. to find my happiness
sight. but instead. i thought i should stay. should not run away.
let the pain stain my heart. so i know.. why im really falling apart.
Some friends are arent like friends no more.
they have show me who they really are and pushed me out of the door.
love is another complication. a sensation. which i need my own protection.
to love ones loved by most. to be heartborken thousand times by the real cost.
to know that he wont be mine. to know thats there's alot of signs.
3 years love. now with A year another crush.
i took the dtour at that curve. hoping to see them so much.
but when i reached at the other end.
it was another test God sent.
family is the one i need. they're the ones who can lead me to succeed
in anything i do. mum,dad,sis,bro(s), do you guys know that i truely love you?
let me ask this, why's that ive got diss.
everytime i need one. there's none.
this song sung by Keshia Cole, with the title Falling Out.
Is stuck in my head and i dont feel like screaming but just to shout.
why's this happening. again & again.
the pain.
no one understands.

now is about me.
about why im not happy.
lets start with friends. the ones i can no longer depend. on.
anything. even a little thing. they're just having this ego shit thingy.
which makes them think " I AM KING ".
God. there's no longer a way I could made them realise.
Ive no rights either. Its their life. So I shall not bother.
But in anything anyone do.
No worries.
You're forgiven.
Just left memories.
that are left to be written.
down. in my history book.
with four chapters that i took.
Chapter 1. Friends - good thing ive got only a few.
Chapter 2. Love - I dont know what I should do. cause i love you too.
Chapter 3. Family - I need you guys.
Chapter 4. Myself - I'm lost in my FUCKING paradise.

But please you guys.. I really appreciate some of you out there who's always
been there for me.. But i need to see. That you guys are really beggin me to stay.
or not. Im planning to walk away..
cause im really slowy falling..
i hope you guys know what im talking..
cause there's this big secret im gonna tell..
im not what you see in your eyes.
im not a liar who's trying to be someone else in disguise.
im not someone who you could take it easily..
cause i can tell you.. that im not even those funny joker and crazy.
If only..
if..
only..

sigh.. just dont let pride get into your way guys..
that just dont work.
there's nothing you can buy.
cause its just gonna make you ended up looking like a jerk..

im stopping here right now..
somehow..
im gonna let go..
whats real..
whats for show..
not whats for sale..
but the things that i should do.
like telling all of you no matter what.
im still loving you.

goodbye..

p.s: Haru Haru...