It was Me. With The Rose I Gave You.

Identity Memoirs Exits Letters

Back Again.

The trip back wasn't a welcoming one at all.

I walked back home alone having those words that he said cycle through my head feeling the pain again and again.
When I was wondering the obvious of the obvious.
I looked at the time, I called my parents.
Again. No one bothered to pick up.

Alone now. Stuck here in this room. Dark condition.
Not caring about anything around me.
I broke most of the stuffs at home.
By just a touch.
I'm exhausted. My legs are aching shit.

The camp. Was difinitely a wonderful and memoriable one.
Along the camp. I got upset most of the time cause of someone.
I wanted someone to smile but instead, a total change of face expression
when that person saw my presence there at the moment.
I wondered.
Isit because the person's upset too.
Or isit because the person saw me with someone else and thought that that someone elses was my lover?

I saw the practicals and I saw both sides theories.
I know mine. And I learnt theirs.
Both theories is unexpected but obviously obvious.

I stucked myself up in my theories and my mates assumptions.
Its just that I wanted to know the truth.
I don't want any Secrets between close ones.
I love everyone. Including the person I'm talking about.
Maybe I love him the most?
Maybe I love some others the same way too.
Its just that. I'm not showing attitude.
I don't want to be too emotional.
But somehow, I know.
And I just don't like it, if its been hid away for some reasons.

off.

Party To Dasmacus.

The Present.

I've changed.
Drastically.
Again I'll repeat. Don't ask.

Recently. Comp was fine. We didn't made it. So what,
as long as my team mates had that experience. Had the opportunity
to the open. We had fun within our team and thats enough.
Thats..Enough..

There's something bothering me..
Not some. A thing.

Honestly, I want to be alone more just after school.
Be there where we belong, me and my family.

Sigh.. Lets just keep that one to myself..

Life isn't fair.
So just beware.
Living Impaired.
Differently Biotic.
Living in Despair.
We aren't psychotic.

We, different people with different minds.
With different beliefs and diffrent signs.
Also, different religions and different opinions.
Different pesonalities and different type of assumptions.

We as different and every unique self has the need and the must
to respect other beliefs and others minds.
We do not have th rights to destroy or to insult those
differently biotic people.
We must not offend anything that does not belong to us or those
that does not belong to us.
Thus, its all about RESPECT.

Even some of us might not belong here or not up to your likings.
We have our own unique self. And we do respect others and stuffs
like that. So understand.
And respect.

Keep to yourself who, those that are known.
Thy, the soul and spirit may no companion to us.
But living in believing others and oneself,
will leave us to light from darkness.

Something you all got to take note.
Not all the time Light is the source of Good.
And not all the time Darkness is the source of Evil.
There's Vice-Versa. So all you got to do is go with the flow.
Aprreciate one and other differently biotics presence in life.

Off.~

The Present.
Confusion.

-----------------------------------------

The Past.

This morning was fine..
I saw someone looked very familiar to me..
Very. He was in the same time staring at me.
Same way I was doing that at him too.
We was at that United Square Challenger.
He works there. forget it.

Oh well.
Then went back to school to get the Compass Parts paper
from Yi Lin. And Sheila heard me so she was shouting for me.
ZZ. So I chill for awhile with them.
Felt great tho.
After that head for the library to meet Ching Na.
Thats where I decided to borrow books.
But can't,too much fine. Sigh.

So we left for Fork & Spoon.
Did some revision there and left for Night Market.
Which we commonly call it. Pasar malam.
=_=

great.

After that. Noth much happened. Left for home.
While I was walking home I remembered all the past.

Everything. Just right when I step into this puddle in the rain.
Alone again.
I saw them.
Don't ask me who.
They smiled at me, just returned one and went away as fast as could.

They was complacent and he was reluctant.
I heard em.
Too loud I suppose.
Just too loud.
I stop by and finally reached home.

The things are getting worse.
But I believe I can overcome it.
But this has to stop.

It Has To End.

And I'll do it.

Off.

Got bored.

I just got bored and I finish some admin stuffs I had to do for NPCC.
Well. Other than that.
I saw Ching Na's blog today. So I decided to do something about the quizzes.
They looked interesting.
So I tried some out and thought of posting it at my blog too.
So just have a look aite.
Whats stated is probably like the real me. So yep.

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Where Your life is Going You are a very determined and willful individual. You have strong set goals that you plan to reach no matter what. You may be an overachiever at times but that's because you want to be successful in your life. The greatest accomplishment for you is when you reach a high goal. However, you constantly worry if you're not good enough to do something, or if your life doesn't go according to plan. You worry a lot about your future, and if it will meet all your high criteria. Don't worry, with your determination, and hard work ethic, and organization chances are things will go according to plan.
Commitment
Losing Someone
Disappointment
Looked down on
Being Alone
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What's your inner element Your Result: water You are a cool person. You may love fishing and swimming. You go with the flow and don't get impationt. You may not be too popular, but that's okay. You care about others and want the best for them.
air
fire
earth
What's your inner element Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I took this I got a little high. But I don't think so.
But in any fact, its just for fun. haha.
Sigh.. I hope its true tho..

Does He Like Me? Your Result: he likes you he sorta likes you, but doesnt really want anyone to know. he still thinks he needs to get to know you a little more, but really wants to. go after him... and anything can happen! enjoy.
he crushes over you... =)
He Loves You GIRL!!
He is in Head Over Heals MAD Love for YOU!
he thinks your a total DOPE
Does He Like Me? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Again for fun. No harm done right..?
haha...

does he like you (very accurate) Your Result: Let's just say I'm suprised you guys arent dating. Based on the answer you have choosen it's pretty clear that he is head over heels for you, when people come up with exscuses every second they get just to talk to you, it means they completly like you, congradulations.
He's got a thing for you, he's just a little shy.
It's his loss, not yours.
does he like you (very accurate) Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

God. This is shit.
I'm not THAT Beautiful.
I'm just an average. =_=

How goodlooking of a girl are you? Your Result: Beauty Goddess You are no doubt the most beautiful girl that ever walked the face of this planet. Everything about your appearance is flawless and you make men and women feel the need to worship you.
Pretty Girl
Not a beauty queen....
Room for improvement
How goodlooking of a girl are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What element of the nature are you? Your Result: Sun The orb of light that breaks down diversity; you are a cheerful and active person. You care deeply for your loved ones, and are willing to do anything for them. You brighten things up and make others happy.
Rain
Mist
Cloud
Sky
Storm
Thunder
What element of the nature are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I wont comment much on this.. Some of you know it alr..

COOL. You got: 72%

OH! MAN< You are good. You have almost complete control over your powers. You probably focus and practice on your powers, strengthening them each time you use them. If you don't, things come naturaly to you! DOn't give up! Your powers can be better!
These powers can include psychic abilities, disquises, getting along with animals, reikii, super intelligence or strength or energy, and chii!

What Real World Powers Do YOU Have?
Take More Quizzes

Believe me. This is true...

My inner superpower. Your Result: empath You can feel emotions from other people. You are a very caring person and you don't want to see people get hurt. Friends may come to you for advice, because you know a lot.
healer
electricity
super strength
telekinisis/telepath
My inner superpower. Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I can't say anything. I'm him. haha...
Love him. FOREVER HIM.

Best Twilight Personality Quiz Your Result: Edward Cullen You are most like Edward. You have been through a lot, but put the past behind you. You try to make the best out of everything you do and are very strong in dealing with difficult situations. You are also very smart, patient, and charismatic. You will do anything to protect the ones you love. Plus, you're like the best looking person ever :)
Jacob Black
Jasper Hale
Bella Swan
Alice Cullen
Jessica Stanley
Emmett Cullen
Rosalie Hale
Best Twilight Personality Quiz Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

ok ok. i think thats all for now.
Its kinda fun tho. haha. shall take more soon. =P

off.. out of town once more..

Now That You're Gone..

Recently went chillin' out with
Daniel, Author, Wen Ting, Chang Wei, with Winnie, Wen Qing and Atikah they all.
There are more tho. But aren't too sure what their names are. heh..
Yep. It was nice tho.
At least I learn something, still owe a song for someone to listen to when sch re-opens.. lol..

yeah.
someone's gone.
got upset tho I've forgotten to give someone his card.
argh!
forget it.
when i'm sec 5 then his back.. yeah.. great..
heh..
He's like my brother alr.
Someone who I held close like a part of the family.
one of the friends I had that I could trust.
sigh..

Now.. I've fallen for someone.
Thats out of the story.
Honestly speaking.
I dislike people who dunno a single thing bout me and my life then when I began to do something, that person wants to kpo and disturb it.
I also dislike people who wants something and they get it through me.
Self- hardwork dude. Seriously.
I'm not your weapon. I'm just a normal human being.
I myself dislike doing the same action and therefore I expect it the same way for some of you. You guys really need to back up and do it yourself.
But for those who I said I would help. I will help.
Thats all.

Ok back to the topic.
Now that you're gone bro. I have noth to say.
I've fallen for this guy. I wouldn't want it to be a hurtful way.
I know and I heard what people was saying.
Stop it.
I had enough of hearing what people said.
When I dont force it but i just do hear it.
I wont do what you guys ask me to do.
I wont listen.

Today, I had a walk down the block when it was breaking dawn.
It was raining though.
I reminisce the past I had.
The happy ones and the bad.
After everything I've gone through for now.
I remembered bout some stuffs somehow.
I'm no more afraid to be alone.

There was three things I was absolutely positive.

First, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Second, I wasn't afraid of anything anymore & I've planned a new life ahead.

Third, Its true I wasn't afraid of anything anymore but except one.

~|I'm afriad of losing you..|~

I remembered I've all the time I want to do my stuffs.
But is there any time I could do something with you?
Maybe even just to sit and look at the night sky for one night.
Maybe even just to hear your voice everytime I said hi.
To just smile even though how painful is to bring up one when I know
there's no chance at all cause we're two different things.

But even just if you look again at me like how you did the other time.
Right in front of me, that look, when our faces was just a few centimetres away.
If its impossible then show me cause I feel your pain when I look in yours,
and I know you feel mine cause It was too obvious for you.

Shuts.
Once again. I'm emo as usual.
Nothing I could say. Cause everyday, even there's something happy happened to me.
Behind those happiness I see real pain.
Thats why there was only little happiness gain.
Sigh..

What If all of you know the real thing about me.
What If my friends know about it too.
And what If knowing about me, you eventually did too.

I frozed. I looked at the time.
Maybe I should leave.
Anyways. I won't be around for some days.
I'm out of town.
So maybe It'll be a little of some time alone.
Anything.
Do not contact me.

Off..