Identity Memoirs Exits Letters

Swallow me and spit me out
for hating you I'l shout out loud
seeing you it kills me now
no I don't cry on the outside somehow

Cold Starry night.


Yep. Thats me.
Hello. My name is Nur Idayu Bte Abdul Rahman. 14 goin' 15.
30th DEC 1994
Capricorn
Singapore
quake4_cloud@hotmail.com(MSN&FRIENDSTER). Music and Art is her life.
A Rapper,Dancer,B-Girl,Composer,Lyricist,Pianist.Guitarist.
A Little bit of tomboy but still have my girl me. Dont really give a damn about haters,backstabbers and etc(s).
Don't mess with my loved ones or you'll be messin' with me.
Sounds like im tryin' to be a big shot but NO.
Those who are close with me..Knows me very well in terms of fighting..
Loves :
Family = Mama,Daddy,Sister,Brother,Myself,Kor. Bestfriend = Aisyah. Him&Him = ED. Myself. =P
EDWARD CULLEN IS MINE. HEHE XD


I love goth & emo too. Dont ask me why.. Its my Vampire Bloodline. heh. ;D

This will be a long one...
This few days... My heart just feels like it had been stabbed by
a knife so deep down... That it hurts so much..
I cried like there's no tomorrow.
I feel like just... God... I need you....
Allah... I know you're listening to me...
Please help me.....

I will start The Confessions...
Here...


I sat on a porch and hoped and prayed for all the hard things to stop.
I was forced to smile, but I never did, it was so hard that I fell & drop.
I think about you all the time whenever there's space and time.
I never thought I could fell in love with you when it was just a crush
in the beginning.. I went into a relationship knowing maybe there are no
chances for us being together so maybe that's one way I could forget you forever
but I didn't, the guy broke my heart it was worse than I thought..
Slowly I realize how much you mean to me and you are the one that I'm in
love with...
"I never thought I was falling in love again" that was what I've said before..
Oh, yes, not only your heart makes my mind wander but your eyes and the way you always look like you're deep in thoughts. It just made me feel so calm, secure and feel like you're the one for me.. But could there be any obstacles that are holding us back? Like our religion..? That's one thing and you're so committed to it while I'm devoted to mine.. Would there be a bearer? All awhile when I see you, my heart flung off and will ask me, what are the chances? And yes,its true I really want to know how you really feel about this, don't make reasons, my dear love, honesty works best in this kind of situation. Please, I'm begging you, Allah, I love him.. Tell me, why did you make me fell in love with this guy.
"Just kept in wondering why & why..." I kept on wondering..
You know you're the only guy who told me you was proud on how daring I was to tell you, that I had feelings for you. The guy who called me straight when I just sms 'I need someone to talk to' , unlike my ex who called me only 7 hours later.
The way you console me on the phone, how it hit me pretty hard and felt like I wish you were there with me so I can hug you and never let you go.. Allah, why did you me through like this... First was El-turn and now this new guy.. Why..??
I can't stop thinking about him.. The way you teach me songs on that guitar and the way you sang the song to me... And still I remembered how cold you were at time.. You ignore me and treated all other girls better and I still love you just the way you are.. God knows it, my love.. How hard it was to be a lady.. When she knows that she's loving a man that is far beyond her reach, something out of her stand.. But why did she go on..? Loving this man, on & on..? Because she believes that as long there is love there is still hope.. I believe in that, and will always still.
As life passes by slowly, I was giving up on him, not when I came across the phrase that I've mentioned above.. That changes my whole view. I see a new perspective. I thought about you again & again.. The times that we use to crap on the smses when you use to call me lame all the time and that will only happen when I use the word Magic.. Haha! Bring back memories huh..? You see... I just can't look into your eyes anymore.. Not like the past.. When I use to still like you... Just give you a look and we would be exchanging smiles.. You're leaving soon.. And I know I don't deserve your love even though your the only one I'm thinking of.. Maybe..
One day you'll a find your perfect girl.. The one that suits you in every view... But no matter what... I just wanna tell you....
Mr D..... I Love You......













Yes, its true you might say that I'm brave enough to just face him and say that I like him.. But this confessions.. I can't..
This is not about bravery... This is reality.. And I bet he knows it already....










~ Whisper to me Answers to it, Allah... ~
Amin....

- AiSyAh!!BeSTFRiENd4eVer.^^
- Aini.:)
- Afifah.PrIBuDd.:))
- Akmal.BudDy.(:
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The LIFE. The#1
The LOVE. The#2 Under Maintainence.
The ENTERTAINMENT. The#3 STILL UNDER PROHIBITION
The MEMORIES. DELETED OFFICIALLY. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.
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Credits

skin by: N7
resources: Copyrighted Property of Nur Idayu